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Today is the start of something great. It’s the first day of a beautiful tradition that celebrates ones masculinity and machismo…
“Do boys start puberty in the spring?” you may ask…
Well, probably. A mustache induced hormonal reaction anyway. Because all the real men around them are now sporting caterpillar lips and walking around with swagger…
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Mustache March.
Many greats have sported the stud-stache. Tom Selleck, Geraldo Rivera, Alex Trebek, Salvador Dali, Charlie Chapman, and Yosemite Sam– to name a few. And many lesser have donned the butt-broom, molestache, or some variation thereof… but let’s not be “that guy.”
While no one expects you to stand tall next to these gods among men, this third month of every year allows you the opportunity to show the world the raw and unequivocal power of your upper lip.
The ‘ol soup-strainer is so mighty, in fact, that it has inspired men across the country to use it for a cause. Is it merely an excuse to rock ferociously phallic facial hair? Probably. But the cause is good.
Rather than put on an event, run a race, or bake some cookies, the idea behind this is a TCMBC, or “Temporary Cultural Movement for the Benefit of Charity.” The official movement donates money to The MACC Fund (Midwest Athletes Against Childhood Cancer) and more hilarious information can be found at http://www.mustachemarch.com/. I fully encourage getting involved in the cause; however I, myself, will be growing simply for the verility…
As for the females reading this post, don’t fret! Even if a combination of fish oil and black-market stallion steroids wont grow ya a dick-duster, there are companies out there determined to help. Try The Hot Pink Mustache on for size! They’ve got mustaches designed just for you 
So gentlemen, get your shave on. And ladies- fair warning: your mans libido will increase tenfold this month. Prep your loins.
Let the bash begin!
- Ches Sheridan Arms
